Though Homo Sapiens, We’re Not Necessarily All Gay

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

Over in Utah, where I’m pretty sure the native language is English, a man who teaches that tongue to nonnative speakers was fired for broaching the delicate topic of homophones. Homophones are words that sound alike but mean different things, like read/reed, told/tolled, and raise/raze.

The owner of the Nomen Global Language Center, whose motto is “English Will Take You Higher,” thought the term had something to do with gay sex. That was to/two/too much for him.

It isn’t known if the owner had embraced his school motto a tad literally, but after firing the teacher, he immediately canceled his milk delivery.