Cracking Down on Crime

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

If nothing else, the Florida State Legislature concentrates on the really important work of groundbreaking criminal law.

This week that great body sent two bills for Gov. Rick Scott’s scrawl. The first would insure that anybody who gets too friendly with a sweet-eyed heifer will get to contemplate the meaning of animal magnetism from behind Sunshine State bars. Scott reportedly is reluctant to sign for fear of losing the farm vote.

The second bill gives real teeth to the fashion police. It will force school kids to wear their pants higher than they have since at least 1972. Anybody caught with their pants down far enough to show their underwear or, God forbid, buttocks cleavage, could face suspension from school, or other dire consequences. It’s a setback for Calvin Klein.

Word is the legislators have their eye on construction workers next.