Chinese Checkers

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

At the Luolang Elementary School in Southern China (you’ve probably passed it on the way to work and just didn’t notice), the new rules are making a bunch of little kids late to class. Every time a car goes by (and there are billions of cars in China), the tykes are required to stop and flip a snappy salute.

It isn’t clear what the punishment is for failing to touch fingers to forehead, or how many school officials are deployed to enforce the rule. What is clear, is that where cars are not really passing by, but turning in circles to drop their kids off, among the unfortunate kids frantically trying to keep arms pumping in salute among all the comings and goings, there is a noted uptick in nausea.