Philip Rosmarin

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

President Donald Trump has mixed up the Boy Scouts of America with the Hitler Youth.

Appearing at the quadrennial Boy Scout Jamboree, Trump talked Realpolitik to children, while rallying them to boo persons ridiculously better than he. He demanded their loyalty, and even thanked them for their votes, apparently unaware children don’t yet have the vote in this country. (Is there anything about the structure and functioning of the United States government of which he is NOT unaware?)

The Hitler Youth, but not the Boy Scouts, were expected to swear fealty to their Führer.

The Hitler Youth, but not the Boy Scouts, could be roused to denounce all former leaders before the Führer.

The Hitler Youth, but not the Boy Scouts, may have been impressed by a man boasting about his crowd sizes, and his man sizes, when in fact neither are impressive.

The Hitler Youth, but not the Boy Scouts, could forgive the fact that their Führer was a mean little boy dressed in the garments of a fully grown man.

President Donald Trump, presiding over an ever-deepening swamp he pretends to drain, told the Scouts, “I’d much rather be with you.”

So would we, but here’s the thing:

He’s not worthy of the Boy Scouts.

He’s probably not even worthy of the Hitler Youth he mistook them for.

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

18 U.S. Code 2381 says anyone who owes allegiance to the United States, yet helps its enemies harm the nation, is guilty of treason. Russia hacked the U.S. election. Donald Trump helped, going so far as to beg them on international television to do it.

The question now: do we really have to kill him for it?

Treason is just one of the forty-plus federal laws that carry the death penalty. Arguably it’s not the only capital crime he’s committed. His immigration policy has certainly resulted in the deaths of aliens (8 U.S.C. 1324). He’s destroyed aircraft (18 U.S.C. 32-34). His plans to dismember health care may take the lives of thousands — maybe scores of thousands (18 U.S.C. 241, 242). He leaks classified information to spies while serving them cake (18 U.S.C. 794).

He’s a very bad boy.

If someone kills a journalist because the President of the United States has called the Fourth Estate the enemy of the people and repeatedly tweeted suggestions that news folk should be beaten senseless, he might be charged with 18 U.S.C. 1716. (Well, to be fair, that one could likely only be raised by a prosecutor with the stunningly flexible intelligence of, say, someone like Jay Sekulow.)

It seems increasingly likely that 18 U.S.C. 2332a may come into play if we get many more tweets about North Korea. And the President virtually promised during the campaign that he is more than willing to put himself at risk of 18 U.S.C. 2340A.

He’s a very, very bad boy.

But, let’s not kill him. Let’s not even lock him up. Let’s just send him back to The Apprentice, or the Miss Universe Pageant, or Access Hollywood, or anyplace the man feels comfortable in his creepy orange skin, among similarly low-minded rich white trash.

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

In the United States of America, the Second Amendment to the Constitution secures the right of the people to keep and bear arms. Just not black people.

In yet another trial of a police officer who is seen on video slaughtering a black man (or boy) without provocation, a jury has replied, well, that is just standard procedure. Black men and boys are scary. And a black man who tells you he has a gun? Blast away.

And that’s exactly what St. Anthony, Minnesota, cop Jeronimo Yanez did. As Philando Castile was reaching for his license — as Yanez had just ordered him to do — Yanez panicked and murdered him.

The video from the police car dash camera, which the cops only released after the trial, shows us.

Yanez casually walks to the stopped car, leans over and tells Castile he was stopped for a faulty brake light. He asks for Castile’s license and insurance. Castile hands over the insurance. Then, while reaching for his wallet for his license, Castile calmly and politely says this:

“Sir, I have to tell you I do have a firearm on me.”

Yanez, already pulling his gun: “Don’t reach for it then. Don’t pull it out.”

Castile: “I’m not pulling it out.”

Castile’s girlfriend, sitting next to him in front: “He’s not…

Yanez, clearing his holster, raising his gun and reaching inside the car, his voice rising in panic: “Don’t pull it out!”

Castile: “I’m not!

And Yanez fires point-blank at Castile, seven shots as fast as he can pull the trigger.

The girlfriend screams, says “Why’d you just kill my boyfriend?”

Castile, mortally wounded, moans “I wasn’t reaching…”

The girlfriend: “He wasn’t reaching…”

Yanez, now in full panic and screaming at Castile, who has been thrown to his right side against his seatbelt by the impact of five bullets, two in the heart: “DON’T PULL IT OUT!!! DON’T MOVE!!!”

The girlfriend: “Oh my god…oh my god”

Yanez: “DON’T MOVE!!! DON’T MOVE!!! DON’T MOVE!!!” At this point he sounds like a total madman. The girl-friend’s four-year-old daughter, who has been in the back seat the whole time, opens the right-side back door to escape this madman, and has already walked to the arms of Yanez’ partner, who had backed away at the sudden shooting, never had drawn his own gun, never showed any concern before Yanez opened fire.

Yanez pointlessly screams: “GET THE BABY GIRL OUT OF HERE!!!”

It took four seconds for this cop to decide to kill this black man who had a gun. Despite Yanez’ claim he saw Castile’s hand around the gun, it wasn’t until paramedics removed the gun from his right pants pocket that anyone else saw the gun. It was loaded but unchambered so unable to be fired immediately.

Yanez was fired immediately following the trial acquittal, to the credit of the police chief.

But the jury, like so many of them before, and the police force that gave him a parting gift of $48,500, reinforced the credo of police practice in communities of color.

You stop a black man? He give you any lip unbecoming the descendant of a slave? Put a cap in his ass. He mention he has a gun in his pocket? Put two in his heart. You good to go.

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

Just a brief update on some of the outstanding Presidential nominees to federal high courts:

John K. Bush, a Kentucky lawyer nominated for the 6th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals, equates a woman’s right to choose with a master’s right to whip his slaves, the “two greatest tragedies in our country.” Thinks women best suited to supporting roles in the military, like maybe nurses. That neither blacks nor women make good Presidents. Gay men should be thrown in jail. Sure, global warming is a hoax. And Barack Obama was born in the country of Africa.

Damien Schiff, nominated to the U.S. Court of Federal Claims, is a California lawyer with equally impressive credentials. He’s called Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy “a judicial prostitute.” Also wants to toss gay men in jail (I may have that wrong: maybe he just wants to toss with a couple of gay men; he ain’t that articulate). Was against a school district anti-bullying program because, even though “I have not seen the proposed lesson,” it might give folks the impression there’s nothing wrong with being gay, and that gay folk are even remotely like regular folk. Similar feelings about black folk.

One U.S. Senator felt it beneath the dignity of the Senate to even ask questions of Schiff. “It’s just astounding to me to be sitting here (with these nominees) and having this be treated as if it’s normal. It just isn’t normal.”

Alabama lawyer Kevin Newsom is nominated to the United States Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit. Lawyer Newsom feels it a shame we can’t still kill children who, if they had committed their crimes when fully grown, would have got the death penalty. Damn the Supreme Court justices who took that option off his table.

These three – call them Larry, Moe, and Curly — will make fine additions to our judiciary, I’m sure. These guys are shoe-ins.

Oddly, at least two of Trump’s other nominees were already nominated by President Obama for the same judgeships, but failed to be confirmed because the Republican-controlled Senate didn’t want any Obama nominees confirmed. Because he doesn’t read, Trump probably has no idea.

We’re gonna have to sneak them onto the bench.

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

Following is a nearly complete transcript of the testimony of the nation’s top law enforcement officer before Congress yesterday (with thanks to Rolling Stone):

I do not have recollection of meeting or talking to the Russian ambassador.

…nor do I recall any conversations with any Russian officials at the Mayflower Hotel.

I do not remember it.

I did not remember that (the Russian ambassador, photographed three feet from me, was there).

I’ve racked my brain…I don’t remember that I (met with any Russian officials on behalf of the Trump campaign).

I do not (recollect when Jared Kushner had conversations with the Russian ambassador).

I don’t recall (talking with the ambassador). It’s conceivable, but I don’t remember it.

Not to my recollection (did I meet with any other Russian spies during the campaign)

I still do not recall (a possible meeting).

Not to my recollection (were there any more meetings than the ones I previously did not recollect in my sworn testimony).

Not exactly (could I recall the New York Times article alleging constant communication between the Trump campaign and the Russians during the election).

I don’t recall (whether anyone might have tried to gain influence with the Trump campaign).

I don’t think I had direct involvement (in deleting a Republican platform pledge to provide defensive weapons to the Ukraine).

I don’t recall (a debate about the issue).

I don’t recall (any meetings to remove sanctions against Russia).

I don’t recall (conversations in which Trump showed any concern or curiosity about Russian meddling in the election).

I don’t recall (any concern at all).

I don’t recall any (other meetings between Trump campaign associates and Russian spies).

I don’t recall (if General Michael Flynn met with the Russians).

I don’t recall (if Chief of Staff Reince Preibus met with the Russians).

I don’t recall (if Trump speechwriter Stephen Miller met with the Russians).

I don’t recall (if former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski met with the Russians).

I don’t recall (if Trump advisor Carter Page met with the Russians).

I don’t recall (if I had any further conversations with the Russians I haven’t already, if belatedly, disclosed).

I don’t recall…at this moment (whether any other Trump campaign officials had any communications with Russian officials, nationals, or spies).

I don’t recall (whether I ever discussed Russia’s support for Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad, or that leader’s use of chemical weapons against his own people).

I don’t recall (raising any concerns about Russia’s interference in our electoral process, or with the electoral processes of our allies).

I just don’t have a real recall (of any Russia-related security issues).

I don’t recall (practically anything, as it turns out).

After the testimony, dozens of Congress-watchers were asked whether any other Senate hearing witness had suffered such a massive apparent memory loss.

No one could recall.