Department of Missing Persons

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

I don’t know: maybe we should call in the FBI. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is just…missing. There’s a fairly large Clarence Thomas doll they prop up on the Supreme Bench, but even a Chatty Cathy talks. The Clarence Thomas doll doesn’t talk.

Justice Thomas is supposedly an advocate of the Second Amendment. That’s the one where ordinary people get to pretend they’re members of a state militia. But in a widely hyped Second Amendment case heard today — McDonald v. Chicago — Clarence Thomas didn’t fire a single shot. Not even a blank.

Perusing the transcript, you see Justice Scalia (who really likes to talk) mentioned 52 times; Chief Justice Roberts 30 times; Justice Breyer 19; Justices Kennedy and Ginsburg 16 times each; Justice Stevens 15; Justice Alito nine; and Justice Sotomayor 8.

Justice Thomas is mentioned…no times. Zero. On tape, you can’t even hear him breathing. He has a reputation for keeping quiet, but this is spooky.

Somewhere out in space, aliens are studying our justice system up close and personal. I’m not saying we want him back, but it would be nice to fill that swell Supreme Court ninth seat with someone who’ll offer a comment from time to time — even if that someone is just a talking doll.