Go Fish

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

I learned the other day I have been selected from among the five point eight million people of my state to represent them in the 2023 Trout Unlimited Survey.

I’ve already represented most of them, in criminal court (Colorado is the Wild West, you know). But this is, literally, a different kettle of fish.

Maybe the signal honor of my life.

Yet I somehow feel unworthy. Because in fact I am unworthy.

I have never caught a trout. I have never in fact caught any kind of fish, despite seventy-five years of trying — perhaps not every day, and like most people I was at one point, probably early on, a selfish infant unwilling to make the attempt.

I thought I caught a fish, once, but I caught a pier. Not the rare pier fish; a wooden pier.

Nevertheless I will accept this honor with pride, and to seal its authenticity will go out this very morning and bag my trout. Nobody has to know I bagged it at Whole Foods.