Homicidal Maniac

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

People say that when the toddler in long pants who is the President of the United States was an actual toddler, his mother didn’t kiss him enough; didn’t hug him enough.

Maybe that explains why the massive baby is bent on being the instrument of mass homicide, by his willful bungling of a pandemic, killing more Americans than any enemy foreign or domestic in our history.

Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly. Come into my rally, said the Donald to the crowd. Donate your masks to the Democrats. Gather together close as you can: it looks so much better for the cameras. Scream and shout and twist about. Let the spittle fly. Forget thermometer checks: who cares if you’re hot; I’m the hottest act out here. Temperature checks are just like infection tests: they’ll just turn up more cases who’d’ve ever heard about.

No man has ever worked harder to kill the memory of a neglectful parent, to kill all our parents.

He deserves to be rewarded for all that hard work.

This is what the President of the United States deserves when he bawls at his next mass rally in the middle of pandemic:

Hugs and kisses.

Lots of hugs and kisses.