Third Degree Assault

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

I thought the winters in Boston were cold,
Till I met a man from Ukraine.
The winters in Ukraine sounded cold,
Till I met a man from Siberia.
The winters in Siberia sounded really cold,
Till I met a man from Mars.
The winters on Mars sounded impossibly cold,
Till I met a man from mental health.
He tells me I’ll never know cold again.