Top Ten Reasons Roy Moore Is Running for the Senate. Again.

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

If at first you don’t succeed, here are Alabama’s favorite idiot son’s best excuses to try, try again:

10. He’ll show Congresswoman Frederica Wilson how a real cowboy wears her hat.

9. High hopes to wave his tiny little pistol around at the speakers’ podium. Maybe even take out his handgun.

8. With Donald Trump, Clarence Thomas, and Brett Kavanaugh, would form perfect Sad Survivors of Sexual Assault/Harassment Accusations Support Group.

7. Social Security just ain’t gettin’ the job done.

6. Alabama keeps taking away his other day job.

5. Can’t wait to try that thumb thing John McCain did.

4. Heard U.S. Senators get complimentary little blue pills.

3. Has important contributions to make to subjugate the inferior races.

2. Prized black velvet edition of the Ten Commandments would look just great on his Senate desk.

And the Number One Top Ten Reason Roy Moore Is Running for Senate Again?

1. Probably his last chance to score a Senate page.