Top Ten Reasons To Avoid a Saudi Prosecution

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

10. One man’s testimony worth any two women’s.

9.  Trial will be any year now.

8.  Miranda’s just some Brazilian dancer with bananas in her hair.

7.  Length of interrogation depends on how many fingers you have left from last interrogation.

6.  U.S. Constitution protects the people from the government. Saudi Constitution protects the government from the people.

5.  Punishment for offending God is just what you’d expect.

4.  Easier than you might expect to offend God.

3.  Old guys decide what the law is, and don’t write anything down.

2.  You’re a drunken American in the birthplace of Islam.

And the Number One Top Ten Reason To Avoid a Saudi Prosecution:

1.  Rights? We don’t need no stinking rights!