Top Ten Reasons to Join the New ABA Wine Club

I’m just a plainspoken Colorado criminal defense lawyer, but the way I see it…

I just received my “personal invitation to the ABA Wine Club.” That’s the American Bar Association Wine Club. It’s supposed to help me develop my personal wine style and preferences. That had slipped my attention, and it may have slipped yours, too, so here are ten good reasons to dip into a bottle or twelve and join the club:

10, You’re drinking yourself silly, anyway.

9. Built-In Referral List of DUI Lawyers.

8. You’ve always been an admirer of Rumpole of the Bailey.

7. It’s the only way to put the red back in your cheeks.

6. There’s a reason they call it the bar.

5. Your membership at the gym isn’t working out like you’d hoped.

4. Nobody reads anymore, really.

3. Your spouse doesn’t understand you.

2. Actually, nobody understands you because you speak legalese.

And the Number One Top Ten Reason to Join the ABA Wine Club:

1. The ABA Cocaine Club is full up.